


Yukari's Day of Birthday

by communistkasen (bagoum)



Series: Yukabaraki is my OTP [1]
Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28203492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagoum/pseuds/communistkasen
Summary: Yukari x Kasen is my OTP
Relationships: Ibaraki Kasen/Yakumo Yukari
Series: Yukabaraki is my OTP [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068467
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Yukari's Day of Birthday

The secondhand light of the moon and the distant lights of the stars are only capable of every now and then making visible their own faces. When the sun sleeps, this land with little synthetic light is blanketed in absolute darkness, no matter the arrogant whims of the other celestial bodies.

And yet, despite the utter meaninglessness of the moon's absence, the moonless night sky now overhead is the best of night skies.

I folded up my telescope, then opened a gap to my storeroom and stepped through. Which shelf did I pull this off again? Hmm... well, there's some open space on this shelf, so I'll just leave it here.

I pulled off my shoes, leaving them on the rack by the entrance. I don't have anything in particular to do tonight. Maybe I'll read that book for a bit and sleep early. I strolled lazily through my shack, thinking about the day that had just finished turning, before I noticed candlelight leaking from behind the corner where my room was. Someone was there.

There's only one person foolish enough to sneak into my house in the middle of the night. Foolish? Well, it'd be foolish if it were anyone else. 

I hastened my gait-- though I could just step through a gap into my room, this method maintains a fleeting moment of unnecessary and transparent suspense, and so in that sense I could say I do it ironically-- and, turning the corner, yanked open the shouji before I could parse the shadow visible through it. 

I would have come back earlier if I'd known she would visit on such a random day. She was there, on the other side of the room, standing with her back to me, fiddling with some small things on top of a dresser.

"Kasen! You came!"

She turned around, beaming. "Yukari! H-"- before she could finish, I jumped into her arms and hugged her tightly. With her left hand she held me close, and with her right hand she pulled off my hat, let down my hair, and began patting my head. For a few moments we stayed like that, before she continued, much quieter this time, "Happy birthday, Yukari. I brought some cake today." She gestured to the small table where we spent half our time in this room, and, (hopefully only momentarily) separating, we sat down on opposite ends.

Kasen opened the box on the table and began taking out slices. "One half is mango cheesecake. The other half is raspberry. To match your colors."

"It's been so long since you last visited! You really should come over more often." I took a bite of the mango cake first. "But..." my eyes narrowed. "Aren't mangoes out of season here? Don't tell me you--"

She laughed nervously. "No, after the dandelion incident, I wouldn't try that again. I can cultivate mangoes year-round in Senkai, that's all. That said..." She took a large bite out of her slice. "there's no moon out tonight. Were you stargazing?"

"Yeah. I've been taking notes on the movements of the constellations. I don't feel like we're getting any closer to finding the God of the Unending Cosmos, but it is surprisingly fun. You should join me next time."

She sighed, before taking another bite, this time out of another slice. "If only I was able to plan these visits more than an hour in advance. By the next moon, I'll definitely have something figured out. Going stargazing with you would be really... uh... what's the word?..."

"Romantic?"

For a moment her cheeks flushed red, but then she coughed loudly as if to pretend not to hear what I had just said. "Needless to say, I'd really enjoy such an outing." She took another bite. The most eminent oni and perhaps the strongest entity to have ever laid foot on Gensoukyou's soil, the unkillable demon, the nightmare of every purported emperor and empire, the feller of skies, the great sage equaling heaven, Ibaraki Kasen, was, when it came to matters of love, very naïve. 

"But..." she took another bite, then put down her chopsticks. I heard her shuffling her knees. I could tell that she was sitting seiza now, although why exactly I had no idea.

"You know, the calendar standards change every few hundred years, and of course it's been a bit longer than that since the last time we did this, so, just to make sure, but, is today actually your birthday?"

I stopped for a moment to think, and then I responded slowly, with a sheepish grin: "I don't know."

"What?! What do you mean you don't know?!"

"Well, it's not like I've been celebrating it or anything. Does it really matter? You don't need an excuse to trespass here."

"I object to that wording! But even if I come here whenever, I can't bring cake on just any day."

"What? Why not?"

Kasen sighed, as if recalling a less-than-pleasant memory. "If you get in the habit of eating cake on normal days, you'll get fat."

"Aah... so in that case, what is the Hermit of Flower and Fruit planning to do to preserve her cake days?"

"What a cheeky way to speak to your teacher!" She pouted as she took another bite of cake. "Well, no matter. I've already solved this conundrum. So instead, just like old times, let me pose it to you as a riddle. And we can write it as a koan afterwards.

How can one celebrate a birthday without knowing the day of birth?"

I leaned back and stared at the ceiling. The first step in solving a problem is posing it precisely. In this simplified form, Kasen has already given me most of the answer. "Well, clearly the issue here is the juxtaposition of 'birthday' and 'day of birth'. If we can show that these are meaningfully distinct, then there is no issue."

I could hear her taking another bite of cake. "Alright. So how are you going to define these terms?"

"Well, let's look at them in terms of language games. You give your day of birth to the DMV for--"

"Deem-- who?"

"Ah, slip of the tongue. It's something you put down on your koseki for--"

"The headless horseman?"

"Oh, I guess they don't have those here either. Then, uh..."

I glanced at Kasen. Her eyes had become expressionless, and save for the mist dancing around her right arm, her body was now motionless, chopsticks frozen in midair. She's normally so jumpy and fidgety, but she becomes like this under one condition: when she's testing people. A terrifying gaze conveying the emotion of a corpse and only the simple fact that she is watching. I've spent years sitting under these eyes and yet I've never once been able to prevent cold dread from seeping into my bones when I notice them focusing on me.

We all fear that others might judge us. Damnation is found in the calculating gaze of others. No exit, save the hope that the people we keep close to us are too gracious-- or too lazy-- to keep score of our missteps. 

My hands are damp. It's so cold in here and yet I'm sweating. With my hands under the table, I quietly pulled off my gloves and used them to wipe my hands dry.

Could it be-- she knows what I'm referring to, but doesn't consider it rigorous enough? Has she been outside while she was away? I glanced back at her, but her empty visage left me nothing to interpret. 

It's just a game. Just a game. A game. A game to which the solution is another game. But somehow Kasen's gaze in the middle of this game is even more penetrating than that of the lunar emissaries or the celestial bureaucrats. They're all easy to fool. But I can't fool her. 

I took a deep breath, then continued. "Then, take the story of the King of the Water Curtain Cave. He is dragged to hell by the Kishin, but he goes on a rampage and, before he can level even Senluo Palace itself, the Yama, in fear, meekly hand over to him the Register of Life and Death, which contains the date of birth and the destined lifespan of all living beings, and from which he strikes out his own name and the names of all the monkeys under his command.

On the other hand, upon stealing the Buddha's robes from the sage, the bear spirit of the Black Wind Mountain prepares a birthday feast for himself, to which he invites all the spirits of the mountain. Even though it is questionable if youkai or spirits can be said to be born.

In this sense, one knows a date of birth in order to regulate. And one knows a birthday in order to celebrate."

"Therefore?" No response but for this one word.

"The regulatory purpose requires some degree of fact, otherwise Hell's officials would be doing their job incorrectly. But the celebratory purpose doesn't. Whether or not today is my day of birth, we can simply assert that it is my birthday, and we will have cut the Gordian knot."

I turned back to Kasen and watched her carefully. Her right brow twitched, she leaned her head rightwards, and then she took another bite of cake.

The test has concluded.

A few silent moments later, a warm smile broke across her face. "Well, Yukari, that's three times in one response that you've made a reference to something nonsensical, but your solution is correct. As I expected. Though--" she pointed her uncharacteristically unladen chopsticks at me-- "you can't talk in metaphors from outside if you want me or any of the denizens of this realm to understand you."

She paused, then leaned over the table and looked at me closer, her brow furrowing. "Yukari, why are you sweating? Should I open the windows?"

"B-because you were making that kind of face..."

A quizzical frown emerged upon her face. "Face? I was making a face? What kind of face?"

"You know... That scary face you make when you're judging people."

Burying her face in her unbandaged hand, she sighed, exasperated. "God damn. It's been this long, but bad habits don't die easily, do they? Sorry, Yukari. I feel like we've had this discussion once before already. But I'll work on it."

Without warning, she stood up, walked around the table to where I was sitting, and dropped down right next to me. "Here, let me at least do this." 

Suddenly, we were enveloped by a pleasant breeze, washing away my lingering sense of terror. "Wow... what kind of magic is this, Kasen?"

She smiled. "It's not magic. Just a much more localized form of the technique I use to maintain my Senkai.

You know, they say that control over scale is the best measure of technical mastery. This technique for creating pocket dimensions can be scaled down to control room temperature. And your ability to open gaps can be scaled up a hundred thousand miles to reach the moon."

I averted my gaze, laughing nervously. I don't have anything to hide about it, but it'd still be a bit awkward to talk about that little lunar escapade that happened without her.

"So, let's play another game. Don't worry, I'll smile this time." She grabbed me by my forearms and then craned herself over until her face was directly opposite mine. "No gloves? Uh, anyways, feed me some cake. With your hands."

The rough calluses on the inside of her left hand rubbed against my-- fortunately-- bare skin. In these times of peace, hands this worn are rare. Even the other Devas can today be only called monsters with regards to the quantity of sake they drink. This grip, unyielding, rough, yet above all ambitious and wise, is something only she wields.

"With my hands... But I can't move them if you hold my wrists like this..."

"That's the point!" she smiled. "I don't know when you got these powers, but as your teacher, how can I go without training them a bit?"

This looks more like flirting than training to me. But I can't say that, yet. Well, it's nice either way.

I looked down. My palms are parallel to the floor and, thanks to Kasen, I can't rotate my arms. I can only roll my hand up and down. To grab the chopsticks, I need to rotate the output gap by 90º around the Z-axis, then about 15º around the X-axis, then about 70º around the Y-axis. I opened one gap right over my wrist, sending it immediately to the other end by the table. I lightly slid the ends of the chopsticks between my thumb and index finger, then closed the gap. My hand returned, but the chopsticks clattered back onto the table.

Kasen glanced over her shoulder and, in a moment, had figured out what I'd tried to do. "Oh, you haven't tested this situation yet? My guess is that objects straddling the gap when it's closed are sent to the side where their center of gravity, or something like that, is located. You should do some experiments."

"Yeah. I've never had to close a gap with anything but myself straddling it."

I tried again, this time pulling my wrist far enough upwards to bring the chopsticks most of the way through the gap before closing it. This time, they stayed in my hands, now pointing straight down at the floor.

"That'll only work for the first half, Yukari. Your palms are facing downwards. Cake is like rice in that it rests mostly on top of the chopsticks, so it'll fall if you bring it back in that position." Her now wry smile made it seem as if she had predicted this situation from the outset. 

"In that case..." I opened a gap to right in front of the cake, and cut out a piece with my chopsticks. Then, I pulled my wrist up so that the cake piece was still on the other side of the gap, but there remained a space between the ends of the chopsticks and the cake itself. 

"Ooh, looks like you've solved it. Guess I should get ready." She turned back to face me, eyes closed and mouth open. With the first gap still open, I opened another gap with one end between the first gap and the cake, and the other end in front of her mouth. I slowly rotated my wrist downwards, and through the sequential rotations of the gaps the ends of the chopsticks emerged horizontally from the empty space between her face and mine. Slowly... slowly...

Before I had realized it, the chopsticks had collided with Kasen's face and smeared cake on her cheek. She chuckled, before continuing: "Almost there! Why don't you try using the gaps to pick up a napk--"

"I have a better solution." Closing the now-unnecessary gaps, I leaned over and licked the cake off her cheek.

Her face flushed red and her embarrassed eyes shot open, but her grip only tightened, by the slightest of degrees. "Yukari... I don't think that was the *correct* solution."

I smiled cruelly (this is my normal smile, but the residents of Gensoukyou seem to find it quite terrifying) now that the ball had finally rolled into my court (would she understand this expression?). She could never assert herself in these situations.

"Perhaps not the *correct* solution, but it's the solution you most wanted, isn't it? Given that you pulled the problem straight out of a mang-- I mean, romance novel."

She averted her gaze, pouting. "Are you charging your teacher with ulterior motives? That's disrespectful."

As she tried to lean away, I leaned towards her, stopping myself a hair's breadth from falling on top of her. "Maybe not you. But at least one of us has ulterior motives."

\-----END YUKABARAKI FANFIC-----


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